They She He Me, Free to Be! by Maya Christina Gonzalez and Matthew Sg

How do you daily confirm and celebrate gender fluidity when the ‘he’ and ‘she’ binary is so prevalent in EVERYTHING, everywhere, all the time!?

Pronouns serve as a familiar starting point for kids and grown-ups to expand ideas about gender and celebrate personal expression with fun imagery that provides a place to meet and play.

Award winning children’s book author and artist Maya Gonzalez is joined by her partner, Matthew, in their first children’s book together.

With virtually no reflection for different gender presentations in children’s books available, together they created a book to do just that. They She He Me, Free to Be shows many gender presentations under each pronoun and invites even more. A go-to place to help keep the conversations alive, break down assumptions of who is “she” or “he” and expand beyond the binary to include “they” and more.

The back offers a playful narrative about pronouns, inviting kids to know themselves inside and out, claim the pronouns that express the spirit of who they are and respect that in others. Also included is some discussion for grown-ups on how to hold a supportive space for kids (and for themselves).

There’s so much to love about this little book: the joyous illustrations. The myriad ways to identify as “me” “he” “she” “they” and “ze” and “tree”… The joy-filled embrace of each small person being their own authentic self. The idea of playing with pronouns, and the power of us adults to model not making gender assumptions about others based on stereotypes.

Some gems:

“Pronouns can be a way to share how you feel on the inside. Because this inside part is the most important part of you, it cannot be about outside ideas of how people think she or he is ‘supposed’ to act. It has to be about how you feel… The truth is ideas about he and she change all the time. If they don’t fit, you might be an important part of changing them.”

and, in the section for adults:

“Using gender neutral words as much as possible is key. Consider how to use parent, instead of mother or father. Sibling, instead of brother or sister. Our kid, instead of daughter or son. Kid, instead of boy or girl. And so on. This is especially important during the first five years. It not only provides freedom for a growing child to be who they are, it also sets precedence for ways of thinking and using language that are inclusive. This is less about changing all the names of everything and more about modeling the existence of all gender possibilities equally.”

Did I mention the illustrations of all the young people of so many genders are beautiful as well? (There’s even a challenge to see if you can find the kid who uses both he and she.)

I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s definitely a picture book I wish had been read to me when I was a little kid! My thanks to Maya for sharing a copy with me.

Add your review of “They She He Me” in comments!