Those of you who have been following this blog for a long time may remember the “PFLAG Mom” video interview I did with Marsha back in 2011. Marsha’s open, loving energy continues to this day, and she and her Trans son Aiden have indeed been changing the world, one heart at a time.

So I’m very excited about the new edition of their book, Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son, and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance by Marsha Aizumi and Aiden Aizumi. Here’s an interview we did to celebrate the book a decade on…

Lee: So why a book to tell your story in the first place?

Marsha & Aiden: We wrote this book to share where we started and how amazing this journey has been. In the beginning, we were both filled with so much shame, sadness, and fear, but Aiden knew that he could no longer hide in the closet and I knew I could not abandon him. He didn’t have a choice to feel he was male, but he did have a choice to come out as his true self.  I also had a choice and I chose to stand by him..  And so we both stepped onto this unknown path, trusting each other, listening to words spoken and unspoken, and leading with love. Today,  we have been able to move into places of pride, hope, gratitude and love. Our life is filled with so many beautiful moments that would never have existed if we both did not make the choices we made.

Lee: You’ve just released the 10th anniversary edition of the book. Was it cultural changes and/or personal changes in that decade that drove the vision of the new edition?

Marsha & Aiden: We believe it was both cultural and personal changes that drove us to update this 2nd edition. Culturally our work has connected us to more Asian Pacific Islander (API) families and stories, and we wanted to talk about the uniqueness of how our culture has informed our journey.  However, personally we have changed so much due to our personal growth as individuals. We understand at a deeper level the meaning of courage, resilience, trust, faith, and leading with our hearts. We hope our stories in Two Spirits, One Heart will illuminate the lessons we have learned.

Lee: Marsha, if you were in the room with a parent of a young Trans person, what would you tell them?

Marsha: I would tell parents to have an open mind, and really listen to what your children are saying and not saying. One of the most important things we did was to keep our hearts open to each other through authentic, caring communication and apologizing when mistakes were made. Finally I would encourage parents to reach out for support to places like PFLAG (www.pflag.org) so you never feel alone and educate yourself from places like the Family Acceptance Project (https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/poster) so you understand ways you show your child you love them and they will always have a place to belong in your family.

Lee: Aiden, if you were in the room with a young Trans person whose parent was talking to your Mom, what would you tell them?

Aiden: I would tell a middle school or high school trans person to keep communications open, talk often, even if you have to lean into the discomfort. Be patient, but also as your parents are finding their way, find your own places of support and build relationships with others in the trans community who are living happy and successful lives.

Lee: How can the rest of us better support Trans people in specific and the Trans community in general?

Marsha & Aiden: Specific ways to support trans people are to use the pronouns and names they request. Show support by doing and saying things that let trans people know you are an ally, like putting visible signs of allyship at work. Also read and educate yourself about the trans community, so you have a better understanding of their journey.  To support the trans community in general, please speak up when you hear anything negative about the trans community. This is easier to do if you have educated yourself. Also call your legislators and thank them if they are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community or ask them to vote “no” on any anti-trans bills that are being proposed. 

That’s great advice! Thanks to Marsha and Aiden for the interview, and the copy of the new edition of “Two Spirits, One Heart.” I can’t wait to read it.

Add your review of “Two Spirits, One Heart” in comments!